Saturday, April 17, 2010

Breaking The Silence


Today is the Breaking The Silence main event in Fresno, CA. From their Facebook Fan Site: Breaking the Silence is a Fresno-based, not-for-profit organization, dedicated to raising public awareness of child abuse realities and prevention techniques through survivor empowerment and community education.


My friends Dakota & Corky Draconi are activists. This of course, is only one of the hats they each wear. They are also survivors, partners, parents, students, educators, taxi-cab drivers . . . They are, also, two of my best friends. I admire their passion and commitment to giving a voice to countless children who suffer abuse daily. They have also created a memorial to the lost victims of child abuse. They call it The Wall of Tears:


Everyday, in America, 4 children die as the result of child abuse. 4. Every day. Today. Yesterday. Tomorrow. Kids are dying in America. My friends, and their organization, use The Wall of Tears as seen above, and The Wall of Tears Online Book of Tears to memorialize the children whose voices will never be heard again.

BTS also works to educate the community about child abuse. They speak to community groups and college classes to spread the word about child abuse in America today. BTS provides current statistical information, but they also provide strategies for detecting abuse and information about what to do if you suspect abuse. Finally, they try to empower survivors of abuse. By taking abuse out of the shroud of secrecy it depends on, and putting a spotlight to it, BTS provides survivors with the information that they are not alone. It was not their fault. Through open mic events, BTS provides opportunities for survivors to break their silence and share their truths.

Dakota and Corky are my friends. They are also my heroes. I am not an activist, I sometimes wish I were, but its not where my passion is. I'm so thank for Dakota, Corky, BTS and other organizations & people like them that find their passion in activism and work so hard to change our world.

I'm not an activist. But I AM a survivor. I survived years of physical, sexual and emotional abuse. It's not a secret, I long ago broke my silence. But it's not something I speak of or share in my everyday life. But today, I feel it's important to speak about it. Through the wonders of technology, particularly Facebook, I have in the last year reconnected with many friends from grade school, high school and college. In school, what was happening to me, what had happened to me, what was going to happen to me, was a secret. I never told anyone. I often thought about it, but was quite certain in my head, that teachers, friends, even strangers, would call me a liar or worse yet, reinforce what I was already quite certain of: that it was my fault, that I was bad and dirty and . . . Those were some of the many distortions planted and cultivated in my head by my perpetrators. I was an innocent, powerless child. I've spent years working hard to undo the distorted thinking and reclaim my voice. Now I am a strong, powerful woman. My abuse does not define me, but it is part of who I am. The abuse I survived, the struggle to heal, the learning to thrive, all these things contribute to the person you know today. And I'm still working to heal and I'm still learning to thrive. I share these things now, because I know that many people in my life today, and in the past, don't know I am a survivor. Sadly, I know that many people in my life are also survivors. I have several friends who I have met through survivor networks and support groups. But I know that many people in my life, both current and past friends whose survivorship is unknown to me. Perhaps they are already on their healing journey. Or maybe what they survived is still a secret. I share these things today to let them know they are not alone. I share these things today to empower my fellow survivors with these truths: You were innocent. It was not your fault. You survived the abuse. You can survive the healing. Life on the other side of healing is a-maz-ing.

I salute and thank with all my heart Corky, Dakota and the whole BTS organization for all their hard work on behalf of all the victims and all the survivors. Thank You!