Struggling

I'm struggling. I'm ok. Not good. Not bad. Sigh.

It's not any one big thing, its alot of little things. Am I homesick? Not much, maybe a little. Am I disappointed about Hawaii, a little, but not as much as you would think. Am I frustrated by my current work situation, yeah but not enough to put me in a funk. Am I affected by the grey weather outside today? Yeah a little, but its just a little thing. One of many little things. Am I stressed out waiting for my Florida license to come through? Yeah, but its just a waiting game. Am I missing Zeus? Yes I am and I'm starting the process to get another pet. Have I been worried about my health? yes, but I have a plan and its moving forward.

So, as you can see, there are lots of things on my mind. None of them huge or overwhelming on its own. Put the little things together, I'm feeling a little blue, a little down, and I'm struggling. Feeling lots of different things all at once. No fun at all. And I'm craving sugar to just make it go away. Doesn't help sugar seems to be everywhere I look lately. Lots of snacks at work, families giving us food filled with sugar. It seems to call out to me. Chris, Chris, you know you want to eat me, you know I will make you feel better. Lies in my head. They are 'just' feelings. They will pass. Sugar wont help anything. Only make it harder to make healthy choices in the days to come.

I called a couple of friends and left messages tonight, made a commitment to no more sugar, chatted online with another friend, journaled, sat with my feelings, looked at the lies in my head and saw how far from reality they are, despite how strong their message is inside, blogged here about it. I'm tired. I'm going to go lay down and try to get some rest.