Homesick.....finally.
I had a really nice Thanksgiving dinner tonight with my brother's family. Delicious meal and great company. A really nice dinner but I missed having Thanksgiving dinner with my dad. I talked to him today. But I am homesick tonight. It's really the first time since I've come here to DC to actually feel homesick. It's ok, its a good thing :)
I have to work tomorrow...yuck. While I am thankful to be able to work as a traveling OT and be working here in DC, I am NOT thankful to be working tomorrow! LOL
I am also thankful for the support and love of my family and friends. I hope everyone has had a good safe Thanksgiving!
Blog again soonly....
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Monday, November 19, 2007
Struggling
I'm struggling. I'm ok. Not good. Not bad. Sigh.
It's not any one big thing, its alot of little things. Am I homesick? Not much, maybe a little. Am I disappointed about Hawaii, a little, but not as much as you would think. Am I frustrated by my current work situation, yeah but not enough to put me in a funk. Am I affected by the grey weather outside today? Yeah a little, but its just a little thing. One of many little things. Am I stressed out waiting for my Florida license to come through? Yeah, but its just a waiting game. Am I missing Zeus? Yes I am and I'm starting the process to get another pet. Have I been worried about my health? yes, but I have a plan and its moving forward.
So, as you can see, there are lots of things on my mind. None of them huge or overwhelming on its own. Put the little things together, I'm feeling a little blue, a little down, and I'm struggling. Feeling lots of different things all at once. No fun at all. And I'm craving sugar to just make it go away. Doesn't help sugar seems to be everywhere I look lately. Lots of snacks at work, families giving us food filled with sugar. It seems to call out to me. Chris, Chris, you know you want to eat me, you know I will make you feel better. Lies in my head. They are 'just' feelings. They will pass. Sugar wont help anything. Only make it harder to make healthy choices in the days to come.
I called a couple of friends and left messages tonight, made a commitment to no more sugar, chatted online with another friend, journaled, sat with my feelings, looked at the lies in my head and saw how far from reality they are, despite how strong their message is inside, blogged here about it. I'm tired. I'm going to go lay down and try to get some rest.
It's not any one big thing, its alot of little things. Am I homesick? Not much, maybe a little. Am I disappointed about Hawaii, a little, but not as much as you would think. Am I frustrated by my current work situation, yeah but not enough to put me in a funk. Am I affected by the grey weather outside today? Yeah a little, but its just a little thing. One of many little things. Am I stressed out waiting for my Florida license to come through? Yeah, but its just a waiting game. Am I missing Zeus? Yes I am and I'm starting the process to get another pet. Have I been worried about my health? yes, but I have a plan and its moving forward.
So, as you can see, there are lots of things on my mind. None of them huge or overwhelming on its own. Put the little things together, I'm feeling a little blue, a little down, and I'm struggling. Feeling lots of different things all at once. No fun at all. And I'm craving sugar to just make it go away. Doesn't help sugar seems to be everywhere I look lately. Lots of snacks at work, families giving us food filled with sugar. It seems to call out to me. Chris, Chris, you know you want to eat me, you know I will make you feel better. Lies in my head. They are 'just' feelings. They will pass. Sugar wont help anything. Only make it harder to make healthy choices in the days to come.
I called a couple of friends and left messages tonight, made a commitment to no more sugar, chatted online with another friend, journaled, sat with my feelings, looked at the lies in my head and saw how far from reality they are, despite how strong their message is inside, blogged here about it. I'm tired. I'm going to go lay down and try to get some rest.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Blustery Day
Today was a blustery day in the metro DC area. I was driving up Connecticut Ave this morning on the way to work and the leaves of many colors were raining down upon my car as I drove and the wind swirled them all around. It was a beautiful magical experience. And a great way to start a Friday morning.
The leaves here are amazing. They are literally *everywhere* right now. Huge piles swept up at curbs and edges of properties. I used to rake leaves for my Maw Maw in her small yard on Lebeau Street. Magnolia leaves that fell and needed to be raked year round. These leaves are different. All shapes and sizes and the most beautiful colors imaginable. It's amazing to me and the locals say its a tame year for the colors. I sometimes drive through Rock Creek Park and through a couple of residential neighborhoods on my way to work. I can get mesmerized by the leaves swirling around. Not a good thing to happen while driving!
I had no idea how beautiful autumn could be until now. I remember as a teenager/ young adult, my mom used to say the only place you saw fall colors in New Orleans was a little patch of land right before the big green (now grey) bridge over the now infamous MRGO heading from St. Bernard to New Orleans East. If you looked hard left right at the foot of the bridge there were a few trees that actually changed colors and it was like a scene from a picture postcard. I doubt seriously its still there in this post Katrina world. It was beautiful, but completely incomparable to what I see on a daily basis here.
So I'm very thankful to here to experience fall for the first time. I originally extended here through the end of the year to leave my options open for the Hawaii possibility. That possibility no longer exists as that facility has hired OTs and will not be needed an OT traveler anytime soon. Maybe someday, but it won't happen for me soon.
I'm antsy to move on to my next adventure. I love the rehab team I'm working with right now and I'm making some really cool friends here. And I'm *loving* fall. But I know my next adventure is waiting out there for me with a new place to live, new friends to meet and hopefully old friends and family to visit. The holidays and heading toward us full steam ahead. I've got about 6weeks left here in DC. Where I go next is to be determined, but we will start looking seriously in 2 weeks.
The leaves here are amazing. They are literally *everywhere* right now. Huge piles swept up at curbs and edges of properties. I used to rake leaves for my Maw Maw in her small yard on Lebeau Street. Magnolia leaves that fell and needed to be raked year round. These leaves are different. All shapes and sizes and the most beautiful colors imaginable. It's amazing to me and the locals say its a tame year for the colors. I sometimes drive through Rock Creek Park and through a couple of residential neighborhoods on my way to work. I can get mesmerized by the leaves swirling around. Not a good thing to happen while driving!
I had no idea how beautiful autumn could be until now. I remember as a teenager/ young adult, my mom used to say the only place you saw fall colors in New Orleans was a little patch of land right before the big green (now grey) bridge over the now infamous MRGO heading from St. Bernard to New Orleans East. If you looked hard left right at the foot of the bridge there were a few trees that actually changed colors and it was like a scene from a picture postcard. I doubt seriously its still there in this post Katrina world. It was beautiful, but completely incomparable to what I see on a daily basis here.
So I'm very thankful to here to experience fall for the first time. I originally extended here through the end of the year to leave my options open for the Hawaii possibility. That possibility no longer exists as that facility has hired OTs and will not be needed an OT traveler anytime soon. Maybe someday, but it won't happen for me soon.
I'm antsy to move on to my next adventure. I love the rehab team I'm working with right now and I'm making some really cool friends here. And I'm *loving* fall. But I know my next adventure is waiting out there for me with a new place to live, new friends to meet and hopefully old friends and family to visit. The holidays and heading toward us full steam ahead. I've got about 6weeks left here in DC. Where I go next is to be determined, but we will start looking seriously in 2 weeks.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Interesting week
So the last week has been a full one. In particular the 3 days following my birthday were filled with lots of activity. I actually had a gall bladder attack my birthday night. Woke up in pain in the middle of the night. Not so painful to go to the emergency room, but enough to sit up for a few hours, uncomfortable and troubled. It was a "wakeup" call in more ways than one. Certainly it woke me up and rendered me tired and crabby the next day at work. But more importantly, it made me really take a look at my health and my eating habits, yet again.
I'm not used to being sick anymore. My family may remember when I was constantly sick with some sinus related issue or another. But those days are gone. And despite my weight, I've been blessed with relatively good health. Until the past few weeks. And, in the midst of the uti issies and now my gall bladder, my blood pressure was up and of course my cholesteral was too high. Sigh.
I've actually been doing well on the weighloss realm. I've lost a total of 32 pounds since arriving in DC, about 20 of those since I decided to really work on eating healthier. I stalled when I got sick and since then, but didnt gain, which is a good thing. But I'm just really worried about my health. I'm 42 years young, but my body feels 42 years old now and its not tolerating my weight very well anymore.
I spent the day after my birthday feeling dejected and defeated. I journaled alot while I was up most of the night with my gall bladder hurting. And I decided I needed to at least consider the option of weight loss surgery. This is something I really haven't considered an alternative for me. I feel like we (as in the the world) don't know enough about the long term issues that come from these surgeries that alter our interal systems so drastically. Also, I've been successful in the past in losing alot of weight, so I want to do it through healthy eating if I can.
By Saturday, I was feeling better physically, and emotionally as well. I realized that while I want to continue to eat heathier, I need to explore all the possibilities out there to help me get to a healthier body size. And I need to get back on track with my plans for healthy eating in the here and now as well as safe and healthy movement. No matter what I decide to do, I need to be able to make healthy food and movement choices. And, no matter what I decide to do it will entail a long term, permanent commitment to those healthy options and choices.
So, I've spent the last week trying to really redouble my efforts at making good choices about food, and trying to be more active just in everyday life. Such as actually doing the dowel exercises with my patients and parking a little further down so I walk just a few more steps each day. I don't get on the scale again until tomorrow morning, but I can see a difference in my uniforms, so I think it's been a good week.
Besides my health, my other disappointing moment was the news that Hawaii is not going to happen in terms of a travel OT assignment. Disappointing. But only in small ways. Now I can focus on other options. Including possibly spending 3 months in Florida near one of my best friends, Ann, and Mickey! Or somewhere on the Gulf Coast, or back in Louisiana. It will probably be after thanksgiving that I get to start looking in earnest for a new assignment location, which will be somewhat dependent on where my licensure comes through the fastest. Procrastination rules...NOT!
Saturday afternoon my brother and sister in law hosted a lovely dinner party for my birthday! Nana and PopPop Deily were there with Nana's famous birthday cake, and Barbara cooked me a great dinner. Rich took the boys shopping for me. They each picked out a different winter scarf for me. Lucas was giving me hints about what they got me earlier in the evening. His hint was: it goes all over you. Isn't that a good hint for a scarf?! I have a picture or 2 to share somewhere, I will try to post them soon!
My work week was long and got busier and longer each day. I've got several tough patients who take alot of physical and emotional energy right now. I worked late a couple of days. But I did make it to the eye doctor this week. I haven't had new glasses since 1996, and I haven't had an eye exam since before the storm. The Optometrist, Dr. Bruce Kellner, is the father of the SLP I work with, Jen. He was great! I had a thorough exam and he helped me pick out the most fabulous new frames for new glasses and sunglasses! I will post pictures with them as soon as I get some!
Time for bed! I hope all of you are having a great weekend!
I'm not used to being sick anymore. My family may remember when I was constantly sick with some sinus related issue or another. But those days are gone. And despite my weight, I've been blessed with relatively good health. Until the past few weeks. And, in the midst of the uti issies and now my gall bladder, my blood pressure was up and of course my cholesteral was too high. Sigh.
I've actually been doing well on the weighloss realm. I've lost a total of 32 pounds since arriving in DC, about 20 of those since I decided to really work on eating healthier. I stalled when I got sick and since then, but didnt gain, which is a good thing. But I'm just really worried about my health. I'm 42 years young, but my body feels 42 years old now and its not tolerating my weight very well anymore.
I spent the day after my birthday feeling dejected and defeated. I journaled alot while I was up most of the night with my gall bladder hurting. And I decided I needed to at least consider the option of weight loss surgery. This is something I really haven't considered an alternative for me. I feel like we (as in the the world) don't know enough about the long term issues that come from these surgeries that alter our interal systems so drastically. Also, I've been successful in the past in losing alot of weight, so I want to do it through healthy eating if I can.
By Saturday, I was feeling better physically, and emotionally as well. I realized that while I want to continue to eat heathier, I need to explore all the possibilities out there to help me get to a healthier body size. And I need to get back on track with my plans for healthy eating in the here and now as well as safe and healthy movement. No matter what I decide to do, I need to be able to make healthy food and movement choices. And, no matter what I decide to do it will entail a long term, permanent commitment to those healthy options and choices.
So, I've spent the last week trying to really redouble my efforts at making good choices about food, and trying to be more active just in everyday life. Such as actually doing the dowel exercises with my patients and parking a little further down so I walk just a few more steps each day. I don't get on the scale again until tomorrow morning, but I can see a difference in my uniforms, so I think it's been a good week.
Besides my health, my other disappointing moment was the news that Hawaii is not going to happen in terms of a travel OT assignment. Disappointing. But only in small ways. Now I can focus on other options. Including possibly spending 3 months in Florida near one of my best friends, Ann, and Mickey! Or somewhere on the Gulf Coast, or back in Louisiana. It will probably be after thanksgiving that I get to start looking in earnest for a new assignment location, which will be somewhat dependent on where my licensure comes through the fastest. Procrastination rules...NOT!
Saturday afternoon my brother and sister in law hosted a lovely dinner party for my birthday! Nana and PopPop Deily were there with Nana's famous birthday cake, and Barbara cooked me a great dinner. Rich took the boys shopping for me. They each picked out a different winter scarf for me. Lucas was giving me hints about what they got me earlier in the evening. His hint was: it goes all over you. Isn't that a good hint for a scarf?! I have a picture or 2 to share somewhere, I will try to post them soon!
My work week was long and got busier and longer each day. I've got several tough patients who take alot of physical and emotional energy right now. I worked late a couple of days. But I did make it to the eye doctor this week. I haven't had new glasses since 1996, and I haven't had an eye exam since before the storm. The Optometrist, Dr. Bruce Kellner, is the father of the SLP I work with, Jen. He was great! I had a thorough exam and he helped me pick out the most fabulous new frames for new glasses and sunglasses! I will post pictures with them as soon as I get some!
Time for bed! I hope all of you are having a great weekend!
Thursday, November 1, 2007
It's My Birthday!
Nice day at work, fun dinner with work friends. Phone calls from loving family and friends. My 42nd birthday has been a success. Thanks to all of you who emailed or called or thought of me today!
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